Thursday, December 23, 2004

It seems that yesterday's post about gaydar provoked a mini-flurry of hits. Frankly, I'm a little surprised. I mean, who are these losers? Not you, dear reader, of course. I mean the losers who feel obligated to assert their heterosexuality when talking with other guys.

Who are these people? Where do they display this behavior? Do they really exist?

I'm not so sure they do.

If this behavior does occur, you would think that I would be in a perfect position to observe it. Granted, I'm not prone to hang out at boozy Marina nightspots, but nearly everyone I work and train with is straight. And although for obvious reasons I've never taken a headcount, I assume that most of those people don't know I'm gay.

In short, what we have is a scenario where straight guys think that they are talking with another straight guy. And yet, not one guy has ever flashed the Straight Sign at me.

But then again, maybe it's me. Maybe it's not that straight guys are too dense to figure out when they're talking to a gay guy, maybe I'm too dense to figure out when they're telling me they're straight. Maybe I've become so accustomed to the constant chatter about wives or girlfriends or hot babes that I can't sense when it's meaningful.

I suspect, however, that the truth is somewhat different. I suspect that straight guys are, for the most part, blind to the existence of gays. That even here in San Francisco, the gay world and the straight world intersect only rarely and in specific contexts (as a friend of his girlfriend, as his neighbor). Thus, in this scenario there is no need for the Straight Sign, since every man a straight guy meets is straight until proven gay.

But what do I know? Every time the Straight Sign was flashed in the article it was at a bar. So maybe the average straight guy thinks that he never meets any gay guys except at his favorite bar, where they circle him like ravenous pythons ready to strike. But seriously. Do you really think that any gay guy caught hanging out at a straight bar would waste his time hitting on some straight schmoe instead of spending some quality time checking out Brett Favre's ass?

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