That's So Gay

Can we agree on a moratorium for saying that something is "gay?" Because, really, nothing is "gay."

Case in point: I like to have people over for dinner. I don't do it very often, since it's hard to get six of my friends to agree to do anything at the same time, but it happens. Mark calls them "dinner parties," and says that "dinner parties are gay."

Now, I don't want to spend a lot of time arguing about whether I throw "dinner parties" or not. To my mind, a dinner party involves linens and floral arrangements and maybe a hired pianist tickling the ivories in the foyer. Throwing shit on the grill and drinking lots of wine is a different animal altogether.

In any event, Mark thinks that whatever it's called, it's "gay." But don't gay people actually have to do something for that thing to be called "gay?" So who are all of these homosexuals throwing dinner parties? And why haven't I been invited?

I admit, I'm a lousy homosexual. I don't work with gay people, I don't train with gay people, I don't go to gay bars. I see gay people at the gym and on the train in the morning, but that's about it. So maybe all of these homosexuals I see do little more than waddle contentedly from dinner party to dinner party in their free time.

Somehow, I doubt it.