Are You Marcel?

I just had the weirdest ski day ever.

I'll spare you the details, but here's the condensed version.

1. Plan to drive to Kirkwood. Check road conditions.
2. Oops. Chain restrictions on Hwy 88. Go to Plan B (Sugar Bowl or Squaw)
3. Check SF Gate while eating breakfast.
4. Oops. Fatal 2-car crash on I-80. Eastbound completely closed. Go to Plan C (Bear Valley)
5. Drive to Bear Valley. See snow blowing off ridgeline.
6. Oops. Wind hold. Only 2 bunny lifts open. Pick butt while waiting for winds to die down.
7. Overhear ski patrol say that backside lifts are turning. No lifts can get you there, but you can walk....
8. Buy lift ticket (only $30 b/c of wind. Score!), ride bunny lift to top and start walking.
9. Get 90% of way to top, see closed lift start to turn. Bastards! Get 1 run in before masses descend.
10. Make a few more runs. Get on one of the backside lifts.
11. Get close to top. Lift slows down, then makes loud whining noise and stops.
12. Oops. Watch as huge clouds of black smoke pour from engine room.
13. Wait 15 minutes. Lifties able to douse fire and fire up diesel generator. Get off lift. Lift then closes.
14. Make a few runs under another lift. Wipe out under lift. Girl on lift looks down. Waves. Asks "Are you Marcel?" Me: "No." Her: "Oh, didn't think so."

So that was my day. How was yours?

Open Letter To My Tri Coaches

so, seeing as how i set four personal bests this week:

50m freestyle (00:34) wednesday
400m sprint (01:27) thursday
800m sprint (03:22) thursday
max measured heart rate (199) thursday

in the pouring rain, no less

and there's freshies to be had...

screw you guys, i'm going to kirkwood

;-)

see you next week. unless it's powder day.

mike

Hotel Soap Project No. 2

Manufacturer: Trevie
Source: The Ritz-Carlton, Manhattan (?)
Made With: Summer sage and sunflower extracts
Overall Rating: Eh. Looks and smells like Neutrogena. Trevie apparently is the Ritz-Carlton house brand.
Disclosure: I don't stay at the Ritz very often, but I have never been impressed with their service or their dubious interior design decisions.¹ The entire enterprise smacks of new money masquerading as old.






1. See, e.g., the fucking scented elevators at the Tyson's Corner (VA) Ritz.

"Gay love songs. No, really... songs about homosexual love affairs done so well, even you straight dudes after hearing this will want these Magnetic Fields dudes to raw dog you and then bust on your stomach."

Buddyhead's Best Records of 2004

Ain't the Internet great? A couple weeks back I make some sort of half-assed link to Tottyland. His link tracking service pick it up. Tottyland then makes an equally half-assed link to me -- and BOOM! -- my hits go through the roof.¹

But spare a moment and think of the poor suckers who actually clicked through to this site. Who knows what they were expecting: perhaps a paradise of strapping young lads flicking towels at each other or cavorting on the beach. And instead what do they get? Pictures of elephants taking a dump. Meat on the grill. Two-tone dish soap.

Dish soap? Nigga please. I take it all back. The Internet sucks.





1. Well, "through the roof" in an "unimaginably-minute-not-even-a-rounding-error fraction of total Web traffic" sort of way.

Tequila Soaprise

Just Another Night At the House of Protein

At Least He Isn't On His Cellphone

Hotel Soap Project No. 1

Product: Jean Marie Farina Bath Gel
Manufacturer: Roger & Gallet
Source: Hotel Sofitel, Paris
Marketing Blurb: "Lemon, petit grain, rosemary and neroli provide an exquisite sensation of freshness and leave the skin delicately perfumed with a tangy citrus accord."
Overall Rating: Tres jolie! This is a fancy bath gel with a refreshing, gender-neutral scent.

The Hotel Soap Project: Introduction

I used to travel for work much more than I do now. As I come from a long line of tightwads, I used to collect hotel soaps and bring them home. I didn't buy shampoo or conditioner for over a year.
One day my friend Michael discovered my stash of hotel soap. His discovery was the genesis of this project. Over the course of a year, he and his boyfriend Charles collected hotel soap from all over the world: Paris, London, Tokyo, Toronto, Costa Rica. At Christmas they presented me with their loot.
My goal is to evaluate each soap and present the findings here.

Marker Near Tomales Point, CA (January 9, 2005)

Oh, Miffy

Squaw and Kirkwood

Sorry for the tardy posts, but I have been playing hooky the last couple of days. My friend Greg is in town, and we went skiing: Squaw on Wednesday and Kirkwood yesterday. No photos, but nearly any Ansel Adams pic will do: frost-encrusted whitebark pines huddled in a snowy bowl.

At Squaw, we had some good runs off the Siberia Express lift, but the really good stuff was off the Solitude lift in the Shirley Lake area. Silverado wasn't running on Wednesday, but if it were, we probably would have done that too.

At Kirkwood, unless you want to do nothing but fast groomers, stay away from the Solitude lift. Instead, head over the backside and ride the Sunshine lift. There's a whole, largely untouched bowl for you to explore.

I'm now paying the price for my deeds: a massive allergic reaction to something. Three Claritins and another antihistamine later, my nose is still running like a faucet.

"upside down" + "land of confusion" + faux fur + shameless self-promotion + distractingly white teeth¹ = world's gayest video.

these guys make the scissor sisters look like van halen.

thanks little.yellow.different!


1. take it from a guy who is not averse to using a little 10% peroxide gel now and again, them choppers is blinding.

Pasta-Batman!!!

Just because it's so hard to find, here's a link to the infamous Pasta-Batman episode of This American Life.

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"Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."
Donnie Darko

I Want Whatever He's Smoking

Sasha Frere-Jones' Best of 2004 list is up. I know that my man is a contrarian, but nigga please. Four shout-outs to Brit Brit in the Top Singles list? What's more, I know for a fact that the Beck v. Pharrell mash-up is way better than the 137th best single of the year.

SFJ redeems himself somewhat on his Top Albums list. In retrospect, however, that manic excitement over Franz Ferdinand might not have been warranted.

In any event, we all know that Best Of lists are bull puckey.

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"Keg beer is for pussies."
Donnie Darko